*above name is changed for protection of the individual*
Just a little background I have grown up in a Christian household and have gone to church all my life. I have been going on other camps nearly every holiday since year 7 and so I would confidently say that I am a Christian and believe in God. But I really struggled with feeling Jesus and my faith felt sort of shallow. Like I knew I should follow Jesus and I believe in him, but I never felt a change in my life.
Last night was crazy. And this is what I wrote directly after:
‘God spoke to me today. As the song ‘Another in the fire’ played I went over to Nando for prayer and damn that changed my life, or at least I hope it does. As he prayed for me, I started crying. I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and love. And as he prayed it felt like I was being pushed back by some pressure on my chest. After catching myself by stepping back a couple of times, I collapsed to my knees. I couldn’t control if I stayed up or not, it was overwhelming and amazing, and I cannot express in words how much I felt in that moment. I wept and shook as I felt the love of God and the Holy Spirit enter my body and my heart. I worshipped on my knees for the rest of the songs and felt the Holy Spirit go deeper into my soul’
As I sat in the chapel after, I was questioning what I should do now as I was unsure what to change to not go back to how I was feeling before camp.
‘After, Nando came up to me and told me God’s message for me. He told me to be surrounded with better people, that there is someone(s) in my life that are corrupting me now. That there is a distraction in my life that is blocking my path to God. I think that distraction is either school or boys, but I think that it is the need to be loved in the way only a partner can and to give my love to someone else. That I am not satisfied with who I am or where I am in life now and that needs to change because I am here in God’s plan. Nando told me that I don’t need that distraction and that, to move forward, I need to get rid of it. Nando also told me that I will never pray the same way again. He told me to memories scripture and read the Bible and understand the Bible.
I still don’t quite understand who Nando was talking about, although I have some ideas and it is scary to let go of those people. It is scary to have to change, but I want to because I want to grow closer to God.
After, when I was in my room writing all this down, I had a different feeling inside me. It was like a buzzing and felt like something was growing inside of me and pushing against my skin. like my body is being pushed outwards by a pressure.’